II. AY! THIS LIFE IN AMERICA

(Excerpt of Book in Progress)

Dream Pleasure

 

#1

I wanna break the world into pieces,

and redefine it by the mirrors of my heart,

watch it burn, and in the ashes scream:

Set a fire in my soul,

one I can't resit,

one I can't control.


Set a fire in my soul,

watch it burn.

#2

Pain is not equivalent to solitude

Solitude corrodes the spirit

Phantom reality.

Pain is the recipe of humanity.

#3

Darkness was my enemy

it became my friend

Darkness was an alien,

it became terrestrial.

Darkness filled my lungs,

Evoked me to violence.

Violence to rupture,

Rupture to solitude.

 

#4

Drugs are an inspiration,

a sweet nectar forgotten

By our Gods.

For the miserable

to survive

their pain.

#5

sweet nectar of violence,

you evoke in me the irreplaceable

call me to commit errors

and love them.

#6

I was born out of context

Politically,

emotionally,

spiritually.

I am a paradox.

 

#7

I dream of dreams full of love

I commit sins full of hatred.

I can’t seem to connect both.

#8

Why and when,

Did I become

a ghost?

Why and when

did I succumb

Why and when.

#9

The medication of living testifies my existence.

They follow me everywhere,

They are my demon and my angel.

They are pure.

 

#10

I wish

I knew

How to tell

The boy

I loved the most

That I would never,

by no circumstance,

forget him ever.

#11

Letters on the air,

when I was six.

Letters on the paper

When I was sixteen

Letters on my skin

when I’m sixty.

#12

I dreamed I’d be

I’d be...

Wishes don’t come true.

Stop expecting them

Wishes of hope,

signify downfall.

 

#13

My heart aches

for all those things

I wasted.

#14

How important is it?

for one to perform?

In society or alike?

In society or dislike?

How terrifying is it?

to be or not be

ashes to the ground.

#15

You thought the worst had happened,

but .

Life has not began.

when it does,

a rollercoaster ignites.

Like a drug,

circulating through

a broken system.

 

#16

Who am I

Where do I go to?

Does humanity truly hold

Meaning at all?

It circles all around

a spectacle of power,

a spectacle of glory

a spectacle of light.

Light is the enemy,

light pretties demons.

#17

Today I rest

For tomorrow a battle awaits.

One battle of spirits.

 

Breathing Poem #2

Oh mother,
how intertwined,
savagely forced to each other.,

Rock and roll and rock
and roll and rock and
roll.

The white table by the boulevard where the deer stumbled upon, stumbled
upon the dream of a day when my heart was twisting all over his pumping
lips, frozen by broken fingertips, his hands, specially screaming for a day,
when the sunrise would mourn the ephemeral flame of our personalities;
bumping hard, bumping slow, bumping....

As the car that drives us to the end of the planet, sharp edges of paint and
charcoal, sharp edges of soap, foam, saliva from our mouths waiting to
devour our hearts, crunchy and deep fried, intoxicated by the sun that
braised our life.
Rock and roll,
Rock and roll,
Rock and roll,

The moon faints, while the car drives faster, lightening through the
dimensional space of our destiny, broken by the pain of our own sins.

Rock and roll,
Rock and roll,
Rock and roll,

 

About the Author

GABRIEL TORRES

Culture Push Associated Artist

Gabriel Torres is a multidisciplinary artist from Colombia and New York. Gabriel’s work deals in the conversations between community engagement, creative placemaking, civic practice, theater making and film. Gabriel has worked in Hong Kong, NYC and Colombia as an educator, documentarian, theater director and community engagement consultant.

Gabriel is currently working in Haus of Dust, a campaign to bring awareness about substance use in latinx queer communities from his personal experience. Haus of Dust is successfully created as a collaboration between Gabriel, Aaron Salazar (Producer) and Kristen Kelso (Marketing and Development director), additionally a collective of 10+ artists and institutions working to bring forth the project. To learn more, visit iamdust.org